lifes defining moments

There are moments in life that change us a person- who we are, where we are going, what defines us. They are little milestones along the journey of life that serve as markers for events that make us who we are. Moments you remember forever and how you felt at that moment. I have had very few of these precise life changing moments in my short life. The moment my husband and I said our wedding vows and two became one. The moment I held my grandmothers hand for the last time and studied her face, knowing I would never see her again. Watching the blank stick turn from white to a blue positive. All these moments changed me as a person. One day, when I watch the movie of my life played back, they will be on the highlight reel.
Yesterday I added a moment. My husband and I, on our 3rd attempt to discover the gender and well being of our baby, went to get an ultrasound. Since the first time we went to find out who this little one is, our excitement for the news changed to disappointment and then concern. The baby has been breech and stuck in a cramped position by one of the large fibroid tumors I have. The thrill of finding out gender was instantly trumped by our growing concern that problems were about to arise. I've spent the last week trying to move this baby to a better spot and was feeling like maybe nothing had worked.
Laying on the table at 8:30 yesterday morning, I had no expectations. Just a hope that no more bad news would come our way. I already have a planned c-section, so I can cope with the baby being breech and I will cross the bridge of fibroid removal when i get there (5 years ago I had a 10 lb one removed so this isn't my first rodeo). I just wanted that baby to not be stuck. Please, please move!
"Thank god!" the tech instantly gasped as she started the exam. My head jerked from the screen to her face. Sure enough the baby had found a more spacious home, on my right side, away from the growing invaders. She tells us how worried she was after we left the last time and relief swept our faces. Before the news that we were in the clear (for now anyway- one day at a time!) she tells us the news that only seemed like icing on the cake.....
My emotions came out all at once before my mind had even registered what she had said....laughter, tears and sobbing.....
My husband stood there with tears in his eyes and grabbed my hand.....
We will be the parents of a little boy.

20 weeks

Has your head ever been so jumbled up you have no idea where to begin processing your thoughts? Let alone take a moment to organize them enough to write them down?
Well, that's been me lately!
Our little one decided to be totally uncooperative at the last doctors appointment...so I have no news to report! The baby is breech and hopefully will flip around before our next appointment on June 7th. Not only so we can discover the sex, but so some necessary measurements can be done that couldn't be done last time. We opted not to get several of the genetic testing done (primarily due to cost) so this was our first chance to check in and make sure things are going fine. Needless to say, it was a real learning experience for us. We were really let down when we left the doctors, but after processing it for a bit we realized it wasn't really disappointment. We were so excited we didn't really realize it and were more shocked that things didn't go as we planned! The whole thing suddenly seemed real and we needed to experience that as a couple. I think it got us on the same page. I already feel so much more connected to the baby then I think my husband feels, so it was nice to see this invoke emotion from him.
Next time we will be a little more prepared when this parenting thing doesn't always go like you planned! Every step of this has really been a learning experience. We are growing too just like our little one!